


like a permanent stain

by bespokenboy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: College AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-27
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-03 13:57:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5293712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bespokenboy/pseuds/bespokenboy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chanyeol learns that being a hopeless romantic in a hookup culture is a special kind of hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	like a permanent stain

Colored lights and moody shadows play across Joonmyun's skin, freckling the bridge of his nose with flecks of disco ball glitter. He wipes the brim of a glass with a washcloth and sets it on the counter. Though he looks different under nightclub lighting, it's unmistakably Joonmyun with his shirtsleeves rolled up and tie hanging loose from his collar. Chanyeol hesitates, and then he raises his voice before Joonmyun turns back around. 

“Hi, Joonmyun.”

In his mind they've met a million times already, but in this reality it's the first time Chanyeol has said his name out loud. 

“Oh—hey!” Joonmyun smiles, like seeing Chanyeol is a pleasant surprise. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm...sorry, what?” Chanyeol stammers, because from the way Joonmyun greeted him, it sounded like he actually knew who he was. 

“What do you like to drink? On the house,” Joonmyun offers. He lowers his voice before confiding, “Just don't tell my manager. He won't be happy if he finds out that I’m giving free drinks to old friends.”

“I...don't drink,” Chanyeol says, slowly realizing that something isn't quite right. 

Joonmyun squints and steps closer, leaning across the counter to see Chanyeol more clearly. “Joon...Young?” Joonmyun asks hesitantly. 

“Chan…yeol…” Chanyeol corrects him. 

His eyes go wide in horror, and suddenly Joonmyun’s rambling, “Holy shit, I’m so sorry, I thought you were my friend Joon Young—I'm not wearing my glasses today, and it's so dark in here, I totally didn't mean to…Can I offer you a drink? Oh wait, you just said that you don't drink...I'm so sorry…”

“It's okay,” Chanyeol laughs a little nervously. This isn't going exactly as he imagined, but it's somehow so endearing to see Joonmyun like this. 

“So, um, since you're apparently not my roommate from freshman year.…” Joonmyun trails off, hoping Chanyeol will clear up the confusion. 

“I'm one of your students from your Thursday class. I don't know if you would remember me, there's a lot of people in that section...”

“Oh…” Joonmyun suddenly looks uncomfortable. “How did you find out that I work here?”

“I, uh, overheard the other TAs talking about it,” Chanyeol admits. 

Joonmyun rubs his eyes wearily. “I should have known that it would get out at some point that I work at a gay bar. I don't even want to know how they found out.”

“I think it's really cool,” Chanyeol mumbles, feeling his courage trying to escape him. “That you live kind of a double life.”

“I suppose,” Joonmyun shrugs. “A job is a job. So how can I help you, Chanyeol? Did you need extra office hours?”

“Um. It's nothing to do with school. I just wanted to tell you…” Chanyeol takes a big breath and plunges his hands deep into his pockets. “You're a really talented mathematician, and I really admire you as a person. I was hoping that we could maybe…”

Joonmyun's chest constricts, and he searches for the right words to say. 

“I hope you understand that for all TAs, there's a strict policy against dating students.” His voice is stiff as he goes into teacher mode, but his heart is breaking as he sees Chanyeol so defeated. 

“I understand,” Chanyeol mumbles dejectedly. His cheeks burn in shame as reality finally catches up to him. He suddenly can't believe he put himself—and Joonmyun—in this position. 

“But,” Joonmyun continues softly so that other people don’t overhear, “my shift ends in an hour. If you don't mind waiting.”

His eyes are dark and defiant, as though he's offering Chanyeol a challenge. Chanyeol wonders what he's getting himself into. 

 

An hour and a taxi ride later, Joonmyun is fumbling with the keys to his apartment. He finally manages to unlock the door, but not without some difficulty. Chanyeol's nerves are just as shot, and he gallantly offers to take Joonmyun’s jacket. Joonmyun unbuttons his shirt too and hands it to him. Chanyeol discreetly tries to smell Joonmyun's clothes, catching a whiff of fruit and alcohol. 

“You're cute,” Joonmyun smirks. “I kind of want to blow you right now. Are you up for it?”

“Joonmyun?” Chanyeol asks hesitantly. 

And suddenly the older boy’s face is only centimeters away when he murmurs, “It's your choice. You can say no, and I'll take you back to your dorm. No hard feelings.”

Chanyeol realizes that this is his only chance with Joonmyun—his only chance to call Joonmyun his. There's no way that he could say no to the best night of his life. 

“Can I kiss you?” Chanyeol whispers hoarsely. 

“You don't even have to ask.”

Joonmyun's hands are in Chanyeol's hair and on his collar, bringing him down to his level for their lips to connect. The kiss is an effervescence inside his head, like ginger ale, sparkling. A natural warmth wells up inside Chanyeol as he feels Joonmyun’s waist occupying the space between his palms. It's everything and nothing like he imagined. 

He can hardly wrap his mind around what's happening before he realizes that Joonmyun has backed him up against a wall. 

“I change my mind,” Joonmyun breathes. “I want you to fuck me.”

There's nothing Chanyeol would say no to at this point, nothing he would rather do than to please Joonmyun to the best of his ability. 

“Tell me what you want,” Chanyeol mumbles back. “And I'll do it.”

“Good boy.”

Chanyeol's standing behind Joonmyun, whose chest is against the wall now. His feet are between Joonmyun's feet spread wide. Joonmyun's on his toes, his heels off the ground as Chanyeol bends his legs slightly to push up into him, so far inside him. 

His heart lurches when he hears Joonmyun’s soft whimpers and sees Joonmyun reach behind him to wrap his small hand around Chanyeol's wrist. 

“Keep going,” Joonmyun murmurs in encouragement. “That's good, that's so fucking good, don't stop.”

Chanyeol reaches down to touch him, keeping a smooth rhythm with his hips and loving the sounds he's pulling out of Joonmyun. Chanyeol's hand travels across the smooth contour of Joonmyun's chest and down the taut muscles in his abdomen, lower and lower until he's smearing the precum at the tip of Joonmyun's cock. He keeps a relentless pace with his hips until he hears Joonmyun's breath come quick with anticipation and feels a pulsing around him. 

Joonmyun slumps against the wall, breathing hard and ragged, and Chanyeol leans down to kiss his earlobe just out of curiosity. 

“Damn,” Joonmyun laughs breathlessly. “I wish I could keep you forever.”

He gets down to his knees and guides Chanyeol's cock into his mouth, pushing it all the way back into his throat. Chanyeol tries to keep his eyes open to let the sight of Joonmyun burn into his memory, but his senses are so overwhelmed that he closes his eyes just to focus on the raw, achy feeling building up inside him. 

And then there's loose thrums of pain vibrating his body in aftershocks as the room reconstitutes itself in his vision. His knees are weak, and he braces his elbow against the wall for support. 

Joonmyun kisses him and then pulls away to smile at him, loose and lazy. 

“I think I've made a terrible miscalculation,” he says, leading Chanyeol by the wrist into his bed. 

 

Chanyeol wakes up and finds Joonmyun's body curled around his and Joonmyun's small fist clasped around Chanyeol's hand. It's the most terrifying thing Chanyeol has ever experienced, feeling this much in love. 

So Chanyeol does what anyone would do. He runs away. 

He hastily throws his clothes back on before he's out the door, squinting against the violent glare of the sun. In all honesty, he'd rather be back in Joonmyun's bed keeping his mattress from going cold. But it's clear to him now that what he wants couldn't be any more different than what Joonmyun wants. 

He's running now, his heart's racing and his feet are pounding against the sidewalk. The city is quiet, hungover. Chanyeol isn't any more lucid when he makes a beeline for his best friend's dorm instead of his own. 

A sleepy, disoriented Baekhyun answers the door.

“What the _fuck_ —oh, it's you. What the _fuck_ , man?!” Baekhyun’s wide awake as soon as he recognizes his friend.

“Hey man,” Chanyeol says with a contrite little laugh. 

“You weren't even drunk last night, why the _fuck_ did you think it was a good idea to look for that seedy gay club by yourself to ask your TA out? You know what kind of people do things like that? Crazy people! People who wanna get murdered! And apparently you!”

“Look—I can explain. Can I come in?”

“You're lucky I don't have anyone in here,” Baekhyun answers grumpily. He offers Chanyeol a strawberry Pop Tart and a place to sit on the floor. “Since you haven’t been murdered yet or anything, mind telling me what happened last night?”

“What’s this? It sounds like you were worried about me,” Chanyeol scoffs.

“Of course not. I’m just wondering how someone like you could be a neuroscience major when you don’t even have a brain!”

“You don’t need a brain to study brains.”

“Fair enough,” Baekhyun admits. He allows himself a small grin before demanding, “So what actually happened last night?”

“I found him at the club. You were right, he’s a bartender.”

“Oh my god, that’s actually so hot. I didn’t think he would have that kind of side job. I always imagined him working at a comic book store or something.”

“Right?” Chanyeol laughs. “He wasn’t wearing his glasses, so I almost couldn’t tell that it was him. He didn’t look like our TA, he looked like a model.”

“And let me guess, you hooked up with him behind the counter during after hours.”

“Well….at his apartment, actually.”

“Nice!” Baekhyun crows. He offers a fist bump before noticing the troubled look on his friend’s face. “What’s the matter? Was it that bad?”

“No, it was amazing! He’s unbelievable in bed,” Chanyeol says quickly. “But it just didn’t go how I thought it would, you know? Like I wasn’t really looking to hook up with him.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Did you find him in a gay club at two in the morning to ask him on a date or something?” 

“Well...yeah.”

“Oh Chanyeol,” Baekhyun sighs. “I never knew you were so innocent.”

“I didn’t just want to have sex with him. I actually had feelings for him. And I didn’t think that he would be the type just to hook up, either.”

“I’m sorry to break it to you, but that’s college for you, man. It would be hard to find a TA willing to risk their position to date a student, but that doesn’t mean you can’t sleep with them!”

“Thanks, man. I feel so much better now,” Chanyeol grumbles. He crumples his Pop Tart wrapper in his fist and aims for the recycling bin by the door. He misses. 

“I know you might be disappointed, but you're a lucky bastard. Do you know how many people dream about sleeping with Kim Joonmyun? Like, everyone! He's not my type, but he's so unreachable and perfect. Have you seen his stock portfolio? The guy must be loaded!”

“Baekhyun, how the _hell_ do you know what Joonmyun's stock portfolio looks like?”

“I've done my research,” Baekhyun says proudly. “He has a financial blog. By the looks of it, you just slept with a future millionaire, if he isn't one already.”

Chanyeol groans and stretches out on the floor. 

“I get what you're saying, and I know I should be satisfied. But it's _Joonmyun_. I don't care about his money or his body, I just want to talk to him about his collection of Star Wars t-shirts and what he loves about math. And I want to kiss him and hold his hand, and just how pathetic do I sound right now?”

“I'm sorry Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says with genuine sympathy in his voice. “I'm so sorry you ended up this way. How do you know he doesn't feel the same? Did he kick you out of his apartment?”

Chanyeol shakes his head. “I left while he was still asleep.”

“But you left a note or something, right?” Baekhyun asks with a nervous laugh.

“No. I panicked and ran.”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“I’m not kidding.” 

“...I can't believe my best friend is a literal idiot.”

“Is it that bad?”

“If I was Joonmyun, I would punch you. Just saying.”

“That's fair,” Chanyeol says, nodding slowly. 

“I'm sure that Joonmyun understands how dumb you are since he grades your homework and stuff. But you should _probably_ apologize to him seeing that he grades your homework and stuff. Just an idea.”

“You're so smart, Baekhyun.”

“I'm really not. Just compared to you I am.”

 

After Baekhyun convinces him that showing up unannounced at Joonmyun’s apartment would not be the best way to reach him, Chanyeol decides to wait until their next class together a few days later. As soon as Chanyeol enters the room, Joonmyun looks away quickly and strikes up a conversation with a student sitting in the front row.

Leaning against the blackboard, he asks, “How was your weekend, Jongdae?”

Jongdae looks up in surprise. Joonmyun is usually too shy and nervous to initiate conversations with his students. He’s confident when he’s solving problems on the blackboard, but otherwise his students have only seen the awkward, meek side of Joonmyun.

“Pretty awful!” Jongdae chirps. “I broke up with my long distance girlfriend of two years!”

“Oh?” Joonmyun’s suddenly flustered, unsure of how to respond.

“Yeah, it sucked. I like your shirt, Joonmyun!”

“Oh, um, thanks.” Joonmyun self-consciously smooths down the wrinkled front of his stormtrooper shirt.

“This is the second week in a row that he’s worn that shirt,” Baekhyun whispers to Chanyeol. “He must really like Star Wars.”

He glances at his friend, hoping for a smile, but Chanyeol’s face is pained.

“Joonmyun won’t even look at me,” Chanyeol whispers back.

“It’s okay, it’s fine, he probably doesn’t want to make things awkward. You should probably talk to him after class just to make sure his feelings aren't hurt.”

“Yeah, I think I'll do that,” Chanyeol says, but his next thought is interrupted by Joonmyun clearing his throat. 

“We're getting started, so can we please keep it down?” Joonmyun asks with an irritated frown. “Thanks.”

Chanyeol does his best to participate in class, but Joonmyun is bent on ignoring him. He never calls on Chanyeol, even when he's the only one raising his hand. 

“What the fuck,” he mutters under his breath. Chanyeol intended for only Baekhyun to hear, but Joonmyun glares at him from the front of the room. 

“Can I help you?” Joonmyun asks in a forcefully polite tone when Chanyeol approaches him after class is over and the room is empty. 

Chanyeol hesitates, and his courage disintegrates. “There was an old problem set I never picked up,” he mumbles. 

“Oh.”

Joonmyun's bangs cast shadows across his eyes as he leafs through a pile of old homeworks. He bites his bottom lip in concentration, and Chanyeol has never felt so possessed by the desire to kiss someone. 

“When was this problem set from?” Joonmyun asks, frowning. “I'm having trouble finding it.”

“Um. The second week of school.”

“Ah. Here you go, Chanyeol. Anything else you want from me?”

“No,” Chanyeol says contritely. He peeks up at Joonmyun's stern expression and asks, “Is there anything you want from me?”

“Actually, yes,” Joonmyun says, and Chanyeol's heart jumps to his throat. “I want you to stop coming to my class just to fall asleep and acting like you're hot shit just because you're tall, you play lacrosse, and you ride around campus on a hoverboard.”

Chanyeol stares at him in shock. It's the first time he's ever seen Joonmyun angry. He's usually so good-natured and forgiving, but it's like he turned into a different person before Chanyeol's eyes. 

“I'm sorry,” Joonmyun whispers in horror, the color draining from his face. Pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, he mumbles, “That was unfair and extremely unprofessional of me. I'm sure you're tired from lacrosse practice, and you're good enough at math on your own that you don't need my class to do well on exams. Please excuse me, Chanyeol.”

“So you _do_ know who I am?” Chanyeol asks with a pleased grin. 

“Pardon?”

“I didn't know that you paid so much attention to your students! Or am I special?”

“Well of course it's part of my job to know who my students are,” Joonmyun frowns. 

“You're the best TA, you know? Don't tell the other TAs I said that. You genuinely love math, and you care about helping your students. We're really lucky to have you, Joonmyun.”

“Oh, um, t-thank you,” Joonmyun stutters in embarrassment. He isn't used to hearing such straightforward praise, especially not from a student. 

“But I hope you aren't my TA next semester, because I want to have a relationship with you outside the classroom, too.”

“You mean you want to be friends, Chanyeol?” Joonmyun asks weakly. 

“You know what I mean,” Chanyeol says, taking a step closer. His heart is gulping and constricting as he reaches for Joonmyun's hand. Joonmyun doesn't flinch away, so Chanyeol makes the move and holds onto his clammy, trembling hand. “I'm sorry about last time. The moment I realized I might have actually fallen for you was the scariest moment of my life, so I just ran.”

“Love, huh?” Joonmyun asks with a bitter chuckle. “Guys like you don't sleep with people for love.” 

“I didn't even want to sleep with you in the first place! I mean, I did, but my intention was to get to know you first! And honestly, I was disappointed by you, Joonmyun.”

“Why?”

“Because I thought you weren't the type to have one-night stands. I thought that you would be the kind of person who wants to fall in love.”

“I am,” Joonmyun says quietly. He closes his fist even more tightly around Chanyeol’s hand like he's afraid he'll run away again. “But I was scared. When I realized who you were, I was terrified that I would actually fall in love with you and that you would leave me after you've had your fun. I did fall for you, Chanyeol, but you still ran from me.”

And then he snatches his hand away from Chanyeol and turns away, embarrassed by his heartfelt confession. But Chanyeol takes him in his arms and kisses his forehead. 

“We're going to have to work on our communication,” Chanyeol murmurs. “Because I really do love you, and nothing will change that.”

“You're talking as if we're a couple already.”

“Sorry,” Chanyeol laughs. “People call me cocky sometimes. I can't help it.”

Joonmyun narrows his eyes in suspicion. “If we're a couple now, you have to come hiking with me on Sunday.”

Chanyeol doubles over, clutching his stomach. “I tore my, uh, hamstring,” he wheezes. “I don't think I can make it.”

Joonmyun gives him a shove that actually hurts a little, but Chanyeol bites his lip to refrain from crying out in pain. 

“Shut up,” Joonmyun laughs. “That's not even where your hamstring is. And you're an athlete, you can handle a bit of walking.”

“Yeah, but that requires moving, and moving is so much work,” Chanyeol complains. “I’d rather just lay in bed with you.”

“I didn't know you were such a sloth.”

“Sorry, but you're stuck with me now,” Chanyeol grins. 

He slips his hand up the back of Joonmyun's shirt, spreading his fingers out wide against Joonmyun's skin. Joonmyun closes his eyes and arches his back, shivering as Chanyeol moves his hand up his spine. 

Chanyeol lifts Joonmyun's glasses from the bridge of his nose and sets it on the desk, glancing over at the door to make sure it's closed. He drags his other hand down Joonmyun's chest, down his abdomen, all the way to the hem of his t-shirt. 

He lays his hand against the fly of Joonmyun's jeans, feeling Joonmyun go erect under his palm. Chanyeol kisses Joonmyun, fondling him through his jeans. His other hand is on Joonmyun's chest now, thumbing his pink, stiff nipples as he begins to unzip Joonmyun's jeans. 

“May I?” Chanyeol asks, edging his fingertips beneath the waistband of Joonmyun's boxers. 

“Are we really going to do this?” Joonmyun groans as he feels his body go hot all over from Chanyeol's touch. 

“Don't think I'll fall for the innocent act, because I know you're not shy in bed.”

“You're right,” Joonmyun says with a devilish grin. “I want you to fuck me against my desk.”

Swallowing hard, Chanyeol peels the skinny jeans away from Joonmyun's legs, falling a little bit more in love with him at the sight of Joonmyun's lightsaber boxers. 

Joonmyun looks sheepish for a moment when he realizes what he's wearing, but Chanyeol kisses him hard and breathes, “God, I love you.”

The desk rattles and shakes as Chanyeol pounds into Joonmyun from behind, and Joonmyun covers his mouth with his crumpled shirt to keep from crying out. 

“W-wait, stop,” Joonmyun gasps, “I'm gonna come, you have to stop. I'm gonna make a mess–”

Chanyeol pulls out just to get on his knees, wrapping his fist around the base of Joonmyun's cock and guiding it into his mouth. 

“Oh god,” Joonmyun groans, watching Chanyeol with sultry eyes. Chanyeol keeps his eyes open just to see the changes in Joonmyun's expression, his reactions to Chanyeol doing his best to make him feel good. 

Even in this position, Chanyeol can't help but cherish the contours of Joonmyun's body, the temperature of his skin, the translucent shadows cast by his eyelashes. He listens to the gasps and hitches in Joonmyun's breaths, irregular and exquisite. 

When Joonmyun is close, he unconsciously grabs onto Chanyeol's hair, his skin flushed and thighs shaking as he leans against the desk for support. A bitter substance fills Chanyeol's throat, and he tries not to gag as he swallows it all down. 

“No mess,” he assures Joonmyun, who doesn't hesitate to kiss Chanyeol again. “Next time I'm going to eat you out, so be prepared,” Chanyeol tells him, and Joonmyun doesn't even blush. 

They agree not to go on any dates in public until the semester ends, but until then, Chanyeol spends many blissful afternoons in Joonmyun's apartment and in his bed. It takes time, but Joonmyun eventually believes Chanyeol when he tells Joonmyun that he loves him. 

Chanyeol is stuck on Joonmyun's mind the way a song gets stuck in your head. He's a silly, lovesick melody playing on an endless loop, a song that Joonmyun never wants to stop listening to. 

 

**A/N** : hELLO FRIENDS I missed writing fic so much and i've been wanting to write suyeol for ages but for the longest time [this](https://twitter.com/bespokenboy/status/667488354343198721) was my only progress orz but yeah hope u enjoyed this quick college au!!!


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